A City Slicker’s Guide to Country Livin’

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Are you tired of bumper-to-bumper traffic? Tired of the noise of the big city? Do you yearn for some acreage to spread out and grow a few vegetables? Are you a city slicker ready for some country livin’?

A cow enjoying the country life.

If so, have I got the guide for you! Here is a tongue-in-cheek look at living in the country.

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City traffic vs. country traffic

When you move to the country, you will probably be so excited not to have to deal with traffic. Well let me tell ya, there is a whole new type of traffic in the country. You will be in a hurry to go somewhere and next thing you know, you’ll be behind a tractor pulling farm equipment going 5 miles per hour down the road. Not only will the driver be going slow, he will also be taking up both lanes of the road so there is no way to pass. (Especially if you haven’t replaced your car yet. See below.)

The other type of traffic you will encounter is farm animals in the road. It is not uncommon to go around a curve and see the neighbors cows or goats in the road. Fences break and the farm animals are always smart enough to find the fence hole.

Unlike city traffic, where everyone is aggravated to be moving slow, farm animals don’t care that you are in a hurry. They won’t move one iota faster. Matter-of-fact, they might be so thrilled to see you, they come over to investigate. And when they investigate, they ALL come to investigate. If you think being surrounded by a throng of people in the city is scary, wait until you are surrounded by a bunch of 1000 pound cows!

Cars vs. trucks

When you move to the country, you’ll be so excited to cruise down quiet country roads in your Toyota Camry. Trouble is, one country pothole, and that Camry will need a front end alignment. Out here in the country, the potholes are big. I mean BIG, and they can tear that little car up in a second.

In the city, your little Camry can cruise around town and zip into a parking space, all without too much thought. But livin’ the country life, you will have to be more selective in your choice of parking spaces. Read this post by my friend Miranda about tractors in parking spaces at McDonalds!

And if I haven’t yet convinced you to give up your beloved Camry, try hauling multiple 50 pound bags of feed or fertilizer in your car. In the country a car is useless. Yes, useless. At minimum, you need an SUV, but a truck is better. And you sure don’t want a fancy one.

A clean vehicle?

Out here in the country, paved driveways are non-existent. Your truck or SUV will always look like it needs a bath. If the weather is dry, there will be dust or pollen all over it. If it is rainy, there will be mud from the potholes (see above) and your (unpaved) driveway.

My truck
I LOVE my truck! This is a rare picture of it CLEAN!

Not only will the outside be dirty, but the inside will be too. I’m not talking about candy wrappers and water bottles. I’m talking about chicken or cow feed that spilled inside or potting soil from plants you’ve bought. I’ve threatened to plant my garden inside my SUV since there is so much dirt in the back of it!

And when you upgrade to an SUV or truck, prepare to upgrade your gas budget. Trucks especially, are notorious gas guzzlers and you will driving much more than you do in the city. In the country, there isn’t a grocery store around every corner. You probably won’t even pass one on your way home from work (unless you are still working in the big city)! No more running to the store just because you forgot an ingredient. You make do or do without (as my Grandmother used to say).

City noise vs. country noise

The final thing you will love about country livin’ is getting away from the city noise. Out here in the country you don’t often hear the wail of sirens like you do in the city. As a matter-of-fact, if you do hear a siren, everyone runs to the window to see what it is.

Tractor and baler
Tractor and baler

The country is peaceful and quiet. Just better not plan to sleep in. The rooster has been known to crow as early as 4:30 and farmers get started early too, especially in the summer. They like to beat the heat of the day so don’t be surprised to hear that tractor at 7:00 AM on a Saturday morning.

And that quiet, country evening you were planning on spending on the porch? Tree frogs, crickets, and whip-poor-wills will be sure to lend their songs to your peaceful night. And heaven forbid, one of those whip-poor-wills decides to take up residence in a tree right out back. The best windows in the world won’t keep you from waking up to that racket in the middle of the night.

Country livin’ is for everyone

So these are just a few (tongue-in-cheek) reasons I think everyone should move to the country. And don’t worry, I’ve barely touched the surface of the reasons country livin’ is the best. You can read more in the post Things Are Different in the Country.

For more information on living in the country, check out my chicken posts and my gardening posts.

cow on a farm-moving to the country

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6 thoughts on “A City Slicker’s Guide to Country Livin’”

  1. hahaha! I love this post. My Mr.’s truck has been out of service for … a-hem… quite a while now so I’ve been hauling ALL my plant purchases, bags of manure and/or compost in my car for a long time. There is enough dirt in my car to have a traveling garden in there! I don’t live out in the country any more, but do live outside of a very small town. The other day I was on my way to work down a 5 lane road and had to follow a tractor. I loved it. It had been a long time.
    🙂 gwingal

    Reply
    • I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who could plant a garden in their vehicle! And you must be one of only a few people who actually enjoy following a tractor. Most everyone else just gets frustrated!

      Reply
    • I too love sitting out back listening to the night sounds, but my poor husband hates whip-poor-wills. To me, they are the essence of summer.

      Reply
    • I know. I was actually disappointed when I realized my husband had washed my truck a couple days before I planned on taking this picture! LOL! It hardly ever this clean.

      Reply

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